Games are fun.  Games help pass the time.  Games keep children quiet on long car trips.  Games keep children occupied while waiting for their food.

Hey! Let's go eat!

Few people played games at the Harribalsac…well, except for the time honoured ‘Let’s Get Something for Nothing’ game.  For some reason, people play games at the Spaghetti Western.  I’m talking about card, board and/or dice games which take up the entire table. 

First, I bring out salads and people are surprised that they have to move their crap in order for me to set down their plates.  Yes, I know you barely finished fighting over who gets to be the car in the Monopoly marathon, but you did order something to eat, so move your shit.

Next, I stop by the table to pre-bus and let the people know their food is on the way.  This is a polite way of saying, “Put your fucking game away and pay attention.”

It never fails, when I arrive at their table, weighed down by plates and gigantic bowls which are burning blisters in my forearm, they are still playing their asshole game.  They look at me as if they’ve never seen me before and they stare for a good 10 seconds while I can feel my spine crumbling and the scorch mark on my arm getting bigger.  Then they all scurry into action to put the cards/dice/figures away in their exact places and in their exact order.  Meanwhile, the food has grown cold, I’ve gotten older, and I long to dump the food on their heads so I can go outside for a smoke.

It isn’t just people with children who do this.  The other night I had a mid-50s couple who blankly stared at me for so long I thought I was at the wrong table.  I turned in a circle at their table.  Nope, it was their food.  When I rotated around, they were still staring at me, frozen like the Tin Man.  I finally put one enormous bowl on the table and used it to shove the woman’s cards and dice to the side.  Then I did the same thing to the man.  I asked if they cared for anything else and they just stared at me.

WTF, people?!  You need to decide whether you are eating or starting a pinochle club.  Is the attention span of Americans (yes, it’s always Americans) really that bad?  What ever happened to polite dinner conversation?

11 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. onechunkymama
    Jul 26, 2011 @ 12:19:03

    That is just bizarre. I’ve never heard of people doing this.

    It’s a new thing for me, too.


  2. Rachel
    Jul 26, 2011 @ 12:31:54

    That is effing wierd! I seriously hope that they do not camp at your table playing Monopoly for the duration of an entire Monopoly game. At least book people are nice, and don’t stack their books all over the damn table!

    They usually leave right after their meal so again, I’m thinking they have a short attention span.

    Perhaps they want to act like they are in a Western movie? Playing cards at the table to pass the time?

    Maybe I should tell them about the old west poker games around town?


  3. Kamui
    Jul 26, 2011 @ 13:10:25

    This is why I carry a DS, if I don’t really care about conversation with the people I’m with and just want to kill time, then I can play that, not take up table space, and easily put that shit away when my food gets there.

    A lot of people play with their cell phones and while that is its own brand of annoying, it doesn’t create a mess on the table.


  4. Ahmnodt Heare
    Jul 26, 2011 @ 13:13:19

    You should learn the fine art of “Selective Clumsiness Disorder.” Their Monopoly board might be ruined, but they will learn a valuable lesson not taught by passing “GO.”

    I already have Selective Hearing, so I’m sure I could easily develop SCD.


  5. Skippymom
    Jul 26, 2011 @ 13:44:10

    How weird is that? If I am not interested in the person I am out with, then why am I out with them? Anything with dice or cards is just strange to cart into a restaurant imo.

    I have enough trouble keeping track of my purse. I can’t imagine hauling games and shit into a restaurant.

    I would definitely SCD, but unfortunately I think they would insist someone pay for their precious Monopoly game.

    Probably not more than once at the Spaghetti Western. 😉


  6. Fuck My Table
    Jul 26, 2011 @ 15:26:28

    What the hell? Who the fuck plays board games or anything involving dice at a restaurant? Card games are slightly understandable since, if it’s ONLY a card game, it can be quickly put away. Add dice, money, or playing pieces and FUCK THAT.

    People are idiots.


  7. Amber
    Jul 26, 2011 @ 15:36:19

    I had a couple come in that brought *their own miniature television sets* with them. As in, two. Two people, two minature televsion sets. They sat across from each other with ear plugs in their ears, watching their respective television programs, ignoring each other. They could stand each others’ company so little that they had to bring television with them out to dinner. At least, that’s what I think they were. On second though, maybe they were communication devices from the Mother Ship Enterprise.

    WTF?! That’s the weirdest thing I’ve ever heard.


  8. Bob
    Jul 26, 2011 @ 17:46:08

    I love games, I would love it if restaurants allowed me to play games at their places but I would make sure there was room on the table for the food.

    You could always bring your own games.


  9. wigsf
    Jul 26, 2011 @ 18:45:04

    The only acceptable games to be played at restaurants are games that can be played with stuff already at the table. Games like the ones found on the children’s place mat.

    Or the Trivial Pursuit cards that I used to see on restaurant tables. What ever happened to those?


  10. DarcsFalcon
    Jul 26, 2011 @ 23:21:48

    Wait a minute – you mean people are bringing actual games TO the restaurant? These aren’t something provided BY the restaurant, like the tic-tac-toe kind of things printed on kid’s menus?

    Good grief! If the game is THAT important to you, leave it home and get your food to go!

    I still can’t get my head around this.

    Yep, people are bringing their own games. It’s usually cards, but someone the other night had a miniature version of Trouble and I’ve seen Battleship as well. It’s more than a little ridiculous.


  11. LS
    Jul 28, 2011 @ 12:16:56

    I’d be happy if some customers played Russian Roulette.

    *Giggle* I’d supply the gun.


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