Try the Soup

As soon as cooler weather set in, Crissy started making homemade soup.  Because she throws stuff together, adds water and simmers until everything tastes good, very few of the soups have recognizable names.  Sure we have beef noodle, or French onion, or chicken vegetable, but for the most part, we have to make up a name and provide a description.  Therefore, I was delighted the night we had tomato bisque soup. 

I thought everyone knew “bisque” was just a fancy way of saying “cream of” and I figured the name would be self explanatory.  Again, I underestimated the stupidity of the general public.

“I’ll have the (whatthefuckever).”

“Would you like soup OR salad.”  If you don’t emphasize OR, people expect a super salad and get pissed when they get a side salad.

“What is the soup?”

“Tomato bisque.”

“Ohhh…that sounds good.  Explain it to me.”

“Uh…it’s creamy tomato soup.”

“Yes, but what about the bisques?  What are they like?”

This is where I fail as a server.  What I want to say (ARE YOU FUCKING RETARDED?) pounds at the front of my head until I can’t come up with a polite response.  I’d slap my kids for being that stupid, but this woman sat staring at me, semi-drooling at the prospect of a “bisque”, patiently waiting for me to describe some new delight.

“Uh…bisque means creamy.  It’s a creamy tomato soup.”

“Yes, I got that.  But the bisques.  Are they like biscuits or crackers or baked bread?”

This is where I lose my shit most of the time.  When a customer is being ridiculously dumb, yet they act as if I’m the stupidhead, it becomes nearly impossible for me not to tell them off.  In the end they can tell from the look on my face that I want to remove them from the gene pool and then they are mad at me.

“No!  There isn’t anything in the soup other than tomatoes and cream.  Bisque is a fancy word used to mean “creamy”.  If you were in a diner, it would be Cream of Tomato soup, but since you are in a fine dining restaurant, we say “bisque”.”

“So there aren’t any biscuits?”

“NO!”

“Well, I’ll have the salad.”

WITH WHAT TYPE OF FUCKING DRESSING?!  WHY DO YOU MAKE ME ASK THE OBVIOUS QUESTION?!

Tons of fun

Darc’s Falcon asked, “You’ll need to fill us in on the “ton of fun” you had during your friend’s visit.  Like, did she give the roommate any grief?  LOL  :)”

What Michele and I did a lot of was work.  Outside work in the sun.  It feels good to get stuff done, things cleaned, junk hauled off, so the fun time is not filled with regret or guilt about what we should be doing.

One day (before the broken foot) I had to install a window.  I told MDR for days that he needed to help me get the window in the hole and I planned to nail his foot to the floor to keep him from running off to the bar.

So Michele raked the yard while MDR and I installed the window.  I could tell after the first screw he put in that he was doing it wrong.  I was twitching thinking about the work I’d have to redo and he was twitching thinking about the beer he was missing out on.  In the sun.  On the hot side of the house.  I looked around for a hammer before I told him I could handle it on my own.  He scorched the dead prairie grass in his haste to get in his Jeep and get the hell away.

“WHERE IS HE GOING?!”  I heard Michele screech from the back yard.

“I told him to go away.”

“YOU LET HIM GO?”

“He was annoying me.  He was jonesing for a beer and he was doing it wrong.”

“He was putting new screws in old holes.  How can that be wrong?”

“It just was.”

Michele has the opinion I should work MDR like a rented mule until he either moves out or sobers up.  I have the opinion that he should pay rent and stay out from under my feet.

What do you think?

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8 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Fuck My Table
    Nov 02, 2011 @ 15:00:31

    As long as he pays his part and doesn’t annoy the hell out of you, I’d say it’s cool. You’re the one who has to live with him, so it’s your call.

    It works as long as I don’t see very much of him. He’s drunk all.the.time. and I get annoyed with the same story over and over and the same questions over and over.

    Reply

  2. Sparty Girl
    Nov 02, 2011 @ 17:00:48

    I’m with FMT. It’s your house so it’s your call. If it’s going the way YOU are comfortable with that’s all that matters.

    It’s just disappointing that he’s such a drunk. I was hoping he’d be a little more useful around the house, but if he has more than 1 responsibility at a time he loses his mind. Case in point: wood for the wood stove. I made him responsible for that this year and every day I have to hear his plans on what he’s “going” to do. I’d just like to see it get done.

    As for the Tomato Bisque, my problem is that I would laugh out loud before I could stop myself when the Dumb One asked about the Bisques.

    I’ve learned you can’t laugh at customers. You also can’t call them stupid, morons, retards, or assholes. You can’t ask them how they were smart enough to find Cody let alone the Spaghetti Western. You can’t ask where their supervisors are. This limits me.

    Reply

  3. Anton
    Nov 02, 2011 @ 17:08:31

    If you want him gone, then work him until he leaves. But if he pays rent and things are fine, then meh.

    “Meh” pretty much sums it up.

    I can’t get over the lady who thought you had tomato biscuit soup. That’s crazy.

    We don’t get a lot of stupid customers at the Spaghetti Western so when I do encounter one, I’m pretty speechless.

    Reply

  4. Zombieman
    Nov 02, 2011 @ 21:38:41

    “Pay rent, stay out from under your feet”, gets my vote too.

    So are the Bisques gluten free? I’m trying to avoid wheat, please bring me extra croutons on my super salad, please!

    Holy hell. That was probably going to be her next question. We do serve gluten free pasta and it’s NASTY.

    Reply

  5. DarcsFalcon
    Nov 02, 2011 @ 23:05:10

    I’m with you – since you have to live with him, you make the call. It’s never an easy one either so you have my support and sympathy there.

    As I was reading about bisque, I remembered taking a ceramics class about 25 yrs ago, and we worked on some stuff called bisque.

    I forgot about that. My grandma ran a ceramic shop for years and taught all sorts of classes. I love ceramics!

    I had to laugh, you already told the woman that bisque meant “cream of” so why she kept asking is just further proof of her stupidity. I think it’s epidemic! Or would that be pandemic? 😉

    I don’t know why people have to argue. The other servers complain about it also. No matter where you eat, chances are your server knows more than you do so STOP fighting with her. You only look stupid…and yeah, I have another story coming about other people who argued with me.

    Reply

  6. wigsf
    Nov 03, 2011 @ 05:56:21

    It’s warm V8, okay!

    That’s the best answer yet!

    Reply

  7. CheyenneBartender
    Nov 06, 2011 @ 19:49:32

    But does Sexy Rexy retain any redeeming qualities?

    His conspiracy theories are a source of endless amusement.

    Reply

  8. Hira Animfefte
    Nov 14, 2011 @ 20:01:01

    I guess if you can tolerate him, you can tolerate him. He must be succesful in staying out of your hair. However, one suggestion: you need a contingency plan for when you are no longer able to tolerate him. That day happened with the Harribalsac, that day will surely happen with the roommate.

    He does just enough to be sort of useful and he does know when he’s pissed me off. I guess the problem is, he really is a great guy, but he’s drunk all.the.time. and I see him not living to his full potential. It annoys me. He would make a great husband/father for someone, but instead he choses to be a drunk ass. I don’t understand how alcohol can make someone throw their life away.

    Reply

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