Too Much Free Time

I’m going into my second week of unemployment while the Spaghetti Western gets new carpet and everyone gets a much needed break from the craziness that was summer and fall.  I posted about all the baking I’ve been doing in my free time.  I’ve also had way too much time to surf the internet.

What I found was the Awkward Family Pet Photos website.  Oh dear Lord.  The People of Walmart photos are funny and horrifying but one can almost forgive these people. 

Maybe the dog ate all her panties and she had to go buy new ones.

peopleofwalmart.com

Or maybe her mirror broke.

peopleofwalmart.com

Or maybe she needed to rush out for some vegetables after a hard night of hooking.

peopleofwalmart.com

Or maybe she woke up with her head on back wards.

peopleofwalmart.com

Or maybe she was on her way to a costume contest.

peopleofwalmart.com

Or a hoe-down.

peopleofwalmart.com

Whatever the reason, why dress up to go buy crap?  Hell, I have to check the site every now and again to make sure I’m not on it.  Wyoming seems to be the least represented state and I don’t know if that’s because there are so few people or so few people who actually know how to operate their cell phone cameras.

The people at Awkward Family Pet Photos are different because they actually got dressed up, posed, and paid someone to take their picture.  With all that planning, one would think everything would turn out just fine.  One would be horribly mistaken. 

awkwardfamilypetphotos.com

Even the cat knows this is fucked up.

 At first glance I thought this was a boy, then I realized it was a girl.  Does it matter?  It’s an androgynous young person holding a freaky-assed monkey while not wearing pants.  The Santa suit just adds insult to injury.

awkwardfamilypetphotos.com

Hi!  I’m a serial killer and you’re my next victim!

awkwardfamilypetphotos.com

She looks darned happy about her limited future.

 And what the hell happened here?  A picture’s worth a thousand words and I think all the words are PERVERT!  This has to be some sort of bestiality ring where unsuspecting small dogs need more than Cesar Millan to recover.  The look of pure pleasure on the guy’s face…should I laugh or forward this to PETA?

awkwardfamilypetphotos.com

Help me.

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7 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. DarcKnyt
    Nov 07, 2011 @ 17:12:27

    MY EYES! MY EEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYEEEEESSSS!! Oh God… Dear God…

    Should I have put a warning at the beginning of that post?

    Reply

  2. wigsf
    Nov 07, 2011 @ 19:02:57

    It’s okay to love your pets, just don’t love your pets.

    I just hope he doesn’t pass his pooch around with his friends.

    Reply

  3. DarcsFalcon
    Nov 08, 2011 @ 01:52:00

    Oh. My. Gosh!

    Where’s the eye bleach when you need it?

    And I’m pretty sure the puppeh in that last photo is begging for help. Someone needs to call the ASPCA stat! *shudder*

    That poor dog.

    Reply

  4. Sparty Girl
    Nov 08, 2011 @ 06:18:59

    eeewww… I could have gone forever without most of those images. I think the reason there are so few pictures from Wyoming is that it’s so cold so much of the time. You don’t see many photos from North Dakota or Minnesota, either. It’s just not the same, seeing those folks in ski jackets and boots.

    We do get poorly dressed people, but at least they remember panties and usually pants. Recently I almost ran over some guy in the parking lot and he berated me. I responded with, “Well you are dressed in camoflage from head to foot…what do you expect?”

    Reply

  5. Guy
    Nov 10, 2011 @ 16:06:21

    That which has been seen cannot be unseen.

    Yeah, and I had to wade through tons of photos before I found those. My brain will never be the same.

    Reply

  6. Hira Animfefte
    Nov 14, 2011 @ 19:47:05

    Gah! Eye bleach! Eye bleach!

    That poor dog.

    Doesn’t he just look traumatized and a little resigned to his fate?

    Reply

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