First off I want to say, “Fuck this snow.” It snowed on Tuesday and it’s snowing again. It can kiss my ass.
It’s good to be back at work. I was getting a little more than bored, but more importantly, I realized I need customers to tell me what I already know.
For example: I was cleaning a table and a woman called me to her table. She said, “The woman who was at that table said she didn’t feel well when she left, so you need to wash your hands after you clean her table.”
She was at the table for 45 minutes and you think I didn’t notice the snot running down her face or her using her hand to push the snot back in her nose? You think I don’t notice that kind of shit? Well, I do. Also, I’m a compulsive hand washer. Granted, you don’t know me, but if anyone who does heard you make that comment, they would laugh in your face. Wash my hands. I never knew I was supposed to wash my hands after handling other people’s germy leftovers. That must be why I’m NEVER sick even though I’m exposed to nastiness all the time. Bitch.
But I smiled and thanked her for letting me know. She tipped me $2 on a $22 ticket, so I wonder if I should have explained tip percentages to her since she likes to explain things to other people.
All in all it’s good to be back. The new carpet and the refinished bar look nice. The roof still leaks and Pro Rodeo is going to have a stroke (or kill the roofers) if it doesn’t stop soon. If I serve the wrong food people come undone and think I should be fired, but it’s okay to half-assed fix a leaking roof so that it warps the floor under new carpet. Awesome job guys!
The biggest faux pas of the night goes to Sunni:
Sunni: (to a blind customer) Did you see our dinner special?
Customer: I haven’t seen anything in years. I’m BLIND.
Sunni: Oh. Well, “seeing is believing” is overrated if you ask me.
They tipped her $15 on a $30 ticket. I said he probably couldn’t see how much he left her.