Apple Snot

I wanted to write about the comments Rush Limbaugh made about the Georgetown law student and how drug addicts and perverts have a place, but it isn’t on a talk show that some people take seriously.  However I realized it isn’t healthy for my blood pressure and I figured I’d look like this before I finished.


Besides, someone else did it better.

Instead, I think a story about Apple Snot is just what the world needs.

The cooks at the Meeteetse school make the best apple and cherry crisp.  Hands down.  I’ve tried others, and even my own recipe doesn’t compare to the crunchy, tart goodness they whip up.  Back when I was a wannabe anorexic teenager, I’d go off my milk diet when apple/cherry crisp was on the lunch menu.  Some might guess chocolate (fill in the blank) is my favourite dessert, but they would be wrong.  I would walk a thousand miles for some good cherry crisp.

So, when I worked at the airport cafe I was excited beyond belief when the owner said she was making apple crisp as a special dessert.  She was an amazing cook and her soups and sauces were legendary.  I was drooling at the thought of eating my way into a bigger pair of pants. 

Until I saw it.

When I scooped it out of the pan, long, stringy, gobs of apple snot clung to the spoon and caused my gag reflex to voice its displeasure.

“Uh…you forgot the oatmeal.”

“I don’t like oatmeal.”


The main ingredient in Tara's apple "crisp".

It seems she didn’t like oatmeal so she used something else to make the crisp.  Something that did not hold up with the butter and apple goo.  Something that turned the dessert into a warm, steaming pile of snot. 

I was not alone in my assessment.  Several of the waitresses refused to serve it.  Most of the customers refused to eat it.  It was a horror story.  It was like bacon and eggs with turkey bacon and powdered eggs. 

To all you cooks out there:  sometimes substitutions work and sometimes they don’t.  Just because you don’t like the primary ingredient that makes the dish what it is, don’t use something else that turns crisp into snot and still call it crisp.  

Truth in advertising, yo.


5 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. DarcsFalcon
    Mar 05, 2012 @ 00:07:58

    Oh my gosh, where is that child’s mother?!

    She’s taking the picture to post on the internet. Duh. 🙂

    Sounds like the cafe owner forgot she wasn’t making it for herself, but for her customers. Not a great way to run a business!

    Yeah, when you are making something for yourself, make it how you want. When you are making it for the unsuspecting public, stick to the recipe.


  2. Ahmnodt Heare
    Mar 05, 2012 @ 12:47:05

    I don’t like oatmeal either, but I love oatmeal cookies even though I know that oatmeal is an essential ingredient in oatmeal cookies. I have never had apple crisp, but I will try it even though it is supposed to have oatmeal.



  3. Sparty Girl
    Mar 05, 2012 @ 18:43:00

    Good apple crisp is divine. Likewise, cherry and blueberry crisp. Apple snot is disgusting. How does this person stay in business? Maybe she needs to start buying her desserts from a restaurant supply company.

    I don’t like cooked blueberries. Blah!


  4. izziedarling
    Mar 06, 2012 @ 11:13:10

    Since you are now a tv addict, should apple snot be added to “Strange Addictions”?

    Nooooo! No apple snot! I’ve seen some of the crap people eat/drink/do to get on that show. I think a lot of it is BS. I mean, I have insane mayonaise cravings once in a while, but you don’t see me showcasing it for 15 minutes of (ahem) fame.

    I was unemployed – on purpose – for over a year. Somedays it was too much trouble to move. But I’m glad I waited for something that was right for me – not that I’m rolling in the pennies but … after a long winter’s nap … a schedule is nice. And, Lordy, girl, I have watched the tv until it turned itself off. (Am talking about two posts, obviously – sorry, brain dissect)

    When I hit the elk I wondered if it was a strong suggestion that I should change directions for a while. Whenever I have idle time I say I’m going to write the Great American Novel, but I end up sitting on my ass watching the world go by. I know I’m ready for a change of pace or career, but I still have to earn a living. Too bad people won’t pay me for being awesome. 😉

    I don’t think TV time is wasteful as long as your hands are busy. Currently, I’m crocheting two sweaters so I can watch as much TV as I want. 🙂


  5. zannyro
    Mar 11, 2012 @ 09:56:05

    heeheehee..glad I found you…love the crazy blogger image!!!!! How do you find things like that? giggle

    Google. Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to comment.


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