Because of my new Kindle, I’ve read some mainstream books this last week. I don’t usually read what’s popular because I believe most Americans have a 4th grade reading level. The books I read have some meat to them and they are far beyond my writing talent level.
For months the internets have been ablaze with ’50 Shades of Grey’. It is the book to read. The hype is so great it is what got me interested in buying a Kindle. I started reading it last night and I could NOT stop laughing. When I got to the part about the “playroom” and the red leather bed I flat out howled with tears running down my face. All I could think about was the part in Christmas Vacation when Cousin Eddie tells his wife, “don’t forget the rubber sheets and the gerbils.”
The problem is, I don’t think ’50 Shades of Grey’ is supposed to be funny.
Reflecting on what I’ve read so far reminded me of something that happened to a co-worker last summer. A bunch of us went out for a beer after work and this young, rather weasel faced guy started hitting on Sunni. He had an Austin Powers accent that he just would not give up on even though all his friends ragged him for being from Tucson, AZ. For reasons beyond me, Sunni thought he was awesome and took him home.
The next night at work I asked how it went with Austin, and she said he wanted her to shove her panties in his mouth. That’s all fine and good, except Sunni doesn’t wear panties (which, to my dismay, she has proved to me more than once). Apparently, they improvised and she shoved his own panties in his mouth. I didn’t ask if she kissed him after that. TMI.
When she told me about her sexcapade, I wasn’t turned on, curious, titillated, shocked, or interested for that matter. I thought it was the funniest fucking thing I’d ever heard. The only way the story could have been funnier is if she was vomiting uncontrollably while telling it. (That reminds me…another story for another day.)
Am I seriously warped? Why do I find kinky behaviour hilarious? I am NOT going to be able to get through this book without cackling like a madwoman. One of the teasers said you shouldn’t read it in public.
I finished it, and it did have some redeeming qualities. It wasn’t all whips and chains, but also about getting into a relationship with someone who has a cargo ship full of baggage, losing yourself to be what someone else wants you to be, realizing you have to be true to yourself, and walking away when you’ve had enough.
There are 2 more books, and I’m sure Ana saves Christian from his troubled past and they sit around singing Kumbaya together. That’s a little more fantasy than I can take. Tigers don’t change their stripes.