You’re Paying for It

Today there was some sort of horse play at the rodeo grounds.  Barrel racing for sure, maybe roping too.  I don’t know.  What I do know is cow-people will spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on top of the line horses, ropes, saddles, trailers, and trucks, yet think nothing of stiffing the server they run into the ground with their constant wants and needs.  The men have a few manners, the women are straight out bitches with their sparkly purses and belts and oversize cross necklaces.  They let their kids run around like little wild animals whether they are inside or outside.  I kid you not, one year I had to get out a bucket and a hose to clean the walls of a booth after some cowgirl (emphasis on ‘cow’) let her bratty three year old smear an entire bottle of ketchup on everything. 

I was cooking and serving by myself today when the first group arrived.  I momentarily panicked, then I thought, ‘I have one word for you shitheels:  auto-grat.’

The Harbinger and a little girl sat down at a 4-top booth and said, “There’s going to be a bunch of us.”

Then why are you sitting at a table that only seats 4????

When 6 more people arrived, she got up from the table she dirtied while waiting and moved to a bigger table.  Fine with me, you’re paying for it.

I recognized the two sets of joiners from both the Harribalsac and the Spaghetti Western.  The Harribalsac people were standard stiffers and the Spaghetti Western people routinely ran my ass off for whatever they could get for free and tipped around 7%.

When I took the food out one person asked for a side of ranch.  I asked if anyone else wanted some.  No.  When I took the ranch out, another girl asked for a side of ranch.  Again I asked if anyone else wanted some.  No.  Again, when I took it out, the 7% mother giggled and asked for a side of ranch.  That’s fine, you’re paying for it.

When I presented their tickets I told them gratuity was included.

“It is?” they all chorused in disgust.

“Yes, it is.”

“Why?” the Harbinger asked.

“Because it is our policy for tables of 6 or more.  It is on every page of the menu in bold type.”

Go ahead, argue with me about it.  You won’t win. 

The next group was worse.  It was 3 adults and 7 kids.  Kids who threw their water cups behind the counter, took silverware off tables, ran screaming between the bar and the restaurant, ran in and out the front door so the bell never stopped ringing, and endlessly asked for more sodas.  That’s fine, you’re paying for it.

The parents didn’t quibble about the auto-grat.  Good thing too because I’ve seen pig stys that were cleaner than the dining room was when they left.

Based on my past experiences with these two groups of people, if tipping was up to them, I would have received about $12 total.  Thanks to the auto-grat, I pocketed $35 and didn’t hate them as much as I usually do.


9 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. DarcsFalcon
    Jun 03, 2012 @ 22:38:50

    You know, it really is sort of amazing that more people aren’t ashamed to behave that way.

    I suspect wolves would be better parents!

    I would be horrified to leave that kind of a mess behind no matter how much I tipped. These people are locals and they raised their kids without manners, now the kids are raising their kids without manners. How embarrassing.


  2. Beck
    Jun 04, 2012 @ 02:54:32

    Our kids would not have lived to the car if they acted that way, we got compliments from the staff when we ate out…. that is the the way we were raised, My daughter serves in Seattle,and she can tell some stories too, and I am a firm believer that you work for every penny you earn, and when I eat out, I tip well, at least 20%, mostly more, I can’t do that job,and I commend you for it.
    That kind of people are for McDonald’s.,not a decent eatery….
    I think you should add a grat on anyone with a brat. 🙂

    It is insane the way this family lets their kids run wild. I can’t imagine they can take them anywhere outside of Meeteetse because most other places insist on keeping your kids under control.


  3. wigsf3
    Jun 04, 2012 @ 03:52:36

    You know that person who coined the term “The customer is always right.”
    That person is dead. Also, that person was wrong, very very wrong.

    The customer is always right if they are willing to pay for it. If the customer is trying to get a free meal or running a server to death for free, the customer is dead wrong.


  4. DarcKnyt
    Jun 04, 2012 @ 06:48:02

    Well, I for one would never let my children behave that way in public. Our kids are so quiet and well-behaved total strangers have complimented us, and it’s all their own doing.

    Mine didn’t act like jerks in public either. All it takes is a little effort.

    I, personally, also think auto-grat is fair on large parties. Most of the time they don’t calculate the tip correctly anyway. It always amazes me how bad someone’s math become when they tip.

    Big parties take a lot of time and a lot of work and someone always figures someone else is going to get the tip, which means the server gets shafted. I’ve decided there are fewer cheap people and more dumb people when it comes to figuring tip percentage. If you accuse someone of being cheap, they can turn it around and say their service wasn’t great. If you accuse them of being stupid, they can’t argue.


  5. Bob
    Jun 04, 2012 @ 07:53:19

    I can’t believe the lack of manners!

    That family is terrible.


  6. Squiggy's mom
    Jun 04, 2012 @ 14:36:27

    Wish we had auto-grat back in my day. We used to get big groups after church on Sunday afternoons, and what were their favorite things to order? Chef salads and banana splits – both made by the waitresses. Out of a dozen or so people, you were lucky to make $2 in tips! And if my kids had even thought about acting up, they wouldn’t be alive today. I respect your ability to keep an even keel.

    Ugh! The after church crowd. I don’t know any servers who look forward to the church-goers now either. I love the pamphlets. I love trying to pay my bills with someone else’s opinions.


  7. Sparty Girl
    Jun 05, 2012 @ 07:53:45

    You tell stories like this every so often, and I know they are 100% true, but I am unfailingly surprised by them. I am just appalled that people behave that way, and then let their children do the same. Thank heavens this new place allows for the auto-grat.

    I get annoyed with the bad behaviour in restaurants, but all it takes is a midday or evening trip to Walmart and I realize I don’t have it so bad. Imagine working there and listening to the screaming


  8. Hira Animfefte
    Jun 09, 2012 @ 12:46:11

    If only there were auto-grat all the time!

    Auto-grat makes me a much nicer person. I know everything’s going to be fair…customers are going to make a mess/be demanding/run my ass off and I’m going to be compensated for it. I’m less willing to put up with bullshit when I have an overwhelming suspicion I’m going to get shafted.


  9. Hira Animfefte
    Jun 09, 2012 @ 20:03:54

    Consider me cursing on your behalf here.

    Thank you.


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