Drunken Drama

Why is it that alcoholics create more drama than middle school children?  One would think they would sit in the corner and guzzle booze until they puked, passed out, or both, but noooooo.  One would think they might have an ounce of self respect and would therefore keep their daily tragedy, crisis, end of the world bullshit to themselves, but of course not.  Every alcoholic I know isn’t happy unless everyone is sucked into their toxic lives.  I’m getting ready to bring out the baseball bat.  I shit you not.

I have Mondays and Thursdays off.  I use Mondays to recover from Sundays, and I don’t do much other than wash all my bedding, and my dishes and maybe brush my hair.  Thursdays I go to Cody, do all of my shopping for the week, do all my laundry, clean the house, mow the lawn or whatever needs doing.  Thursday is a work at the house day.  I have a routine and in true OCD fashion, I don’t like my routine changed, altered, spindled, stapled, or mutilated.

Since I didn’t sleep well last night I puttered around the house until late afternoon before I left for Cody.  When I was about 10 miles away, I got a call from Bagheera asking if I could come to work at 5 since Betty Booze was having yet another crisis.  I told her the best I could do was make it at 6, and that was only if I hauled ass. 

I quickly did my shopping, didn’t even make my weekly stop for tacos, and hurried home.  I threw all the perishables, bags and all, in the refrigerator, threw the non-perishables, bags and all, into the oven so the dogs couldn’t get them, brushed my teeth, changed my clothes and raced into town.

And who should I find sitting in the bar getting drunk?  Betty Booze.

To say I flipped my shit is putting things mildly.

She came in the kitchen during my screaming, cussing, throwing things rant and tried to explain that her boyfriend’s son had been kidnapped and they were on their way to Lander (3 hours away) to get him, but first they needed to find someone to drive.  Meanwhile, they were content to get shitfaced.  Oh, and the kidnapping…he is with his mom, who has visitation rights for the summer.  Kidnapped sounds so much more dramatic, though.  They never did go get the kid.

Betty Booze is the type of drunk who won’t let something go and she needs people to understand that she’s right and everyone else is wrong.  She accomplishes this by getting up in your face and repeating her story over and over and over until you black out from the sheer desire to choke her until her tongue turns purple.  She knew I was dead pissed at her, (probably because I said, “Bitch, you better get the fuck outta my face”) so when she left the kitchen and went back to the bar, she had to tell everyone how mean I was and how unfairly I treated her.  This went on for about an hour until King Triton got fed up with her shit, slapped her face and told her to leave.  (I once watched a women slap the hell out of King Triton and he refused to defend himself and hit her back, so the idea of him slapping Betty Booze is mind boggling.) 

After everyone fled the kitchen, I calmed down a little and made two outstanding pies.  I made a coconut cream and a strawberry rhubarb, both from scratch (okay, I used store bought pie crusts).  What’s even more amazing is it was the first time I used the recipes and both were great.  I usually get recipes that take forever to make and taste like ass when they’re done, but these were simple and delicious.  (allrecipies.com)  I guess all was not lost.


10 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. mary i
    Jul 06, 2012 @ 05:02:04

    You are a much better person than I to put up with her B.S. Glad your pies worked for you 🙂 Hey from Alabama

    I’m not putting up with her shit. She apologized today and I told her I didn’t accept it; she needed to SHOW me she was sorry by being a good employee instead of a burden on everyone.

    Hey from Wyoming!


  2. wigsf3
    Jul 06, 2012 @ 05:54:40

    Mmmm… Coconut cream pie… [gurgle gurgle gurgle]

    It was pretty freaking awesome.


  3. DarcKnyt
    Jul 06, 2012 @ 08:52:23

    Goodness I love me some good coconut cream pie AND strawberry rhubarb. Those are mouth-watering.

    I sampled the strawberry rhubarb tonight and it was devine.


  4. Squiggy's mom
    Jul 06, 2012 @ 11:32:55

    I used to get even with my alcoholic husband (ex) by giving him his supper, then start talking about how if I were going to kill someone, I’d poison them – serve them one of their favorite meals, then smile as I watched them eat it. Then I’d sit down at the table and smile at him. Made him too paranoid to eat every time. :o) The wasted food was worth it.

    One night my alcoholic husband said something smart about dinner so I grabbed his plate away, threw it in the sink and shoved everything (broken plate and all) down the garbage disposal. Yet one more reason why he’s my EX-husband.

    Some of my favorite recipes are from allrecipes.com. There’s a pork chop with gravy recipe on there that’s to die for. Shopping, pie making – you sure have a lot of energy!

    I’m the laziest person I know.


  5. Jeff
    Jul 06, 2012 @ 19:25:36

    When I was cooking I always hated it when I was called in to work for someone and then they showed up, usually to eat. And then I had to cook for them. Good thing I am a good person or who knows what might have happened. LOL.

    People have absolutely no brains. I wouldn’t want the person I inconvienced cooking my food.


  6. Fuck My Table
    Jul 06, 2012 @ 22:14:12

    That website has some gems as far as recipes go…

    I know the feeling of picking up for someone and then seeing them decidedly NOT in the middle of a crisis. Fuck them.

    I just don’t know why she thought this would fly. Everyone knows I’m a bitch and I don’t suffer fools.


  7. skippymom
    Jul 07, 2012 @ 02:02:59

    2 dozen whoopie pies for you for NOT smacking the skank upside the head and dumping her drink on her after you came into to fill in for her. I am a pretty nice person and I find myself with a hell of a lot of restraint at this point in my life – but THAT? I would have pulled her shirt OUT and poured the drink DOWN it.
    HOLY moly. What do people THINK?! How can anyone find this to be acceptable behavior? It is bad enough she was TOO DRUNK to work, but to continue to drink AT HER PLACE OF EMPLOYMENT? I have said it before when you post about your coworkers, and I will say it again. The stupidity. It burns.

    The stupidity does burn. I’ve been there 4 months now and every day I’m forced to teach someone a lesson about stupidity. This is an improvement. Three months ago I had to verbally beat down 3 to 4 people every day.


  8. Sparty Girl
    Jul 07, 2012 @ 05:13:32

    Unreal. People so often just have no respect or consideration for others. Good luck with the drama. Congrats on the pies. Yum!

    I’m sure the kids came home with stories of the drama. It IS unreal.


  9. DarcsFalcon
    Jul 08, 2012 @ 21:10:13

    OH save me a piece of that strawberry rhubarb! Yum! 😀

    You got it!

    Well, I suppose if they didn’t like the drama they probably wouldn’t drink so much. It’s a recipe for disaster all the way around.

    Drunks thrive on drama. It makes them the center of attention and gives them something to talk about.


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