The swamp coolers** at work didn’t work. The one in the dining room was 1,000 years old, and the one in the kitchen was a disgrace. The pads were rotted away and it wasn’t hooked up to water, so we were supposed to carry water to it every 15 minutes. Once we got busy, no one remembered to take water to the cooler, which put the pump at risk of burning out. Even with water, the pads were in such bad shape that they couldn’t hold water long enough to cool the air. Basically, it was a piece of shit.
The last time I worked at the Outlaw, I got into a fight with Doc over the swamp cooler. One thing led to another and I quit. This time I told Bagheera I wasn’t waiting for anyone to fix it, I was going to do it myself. King Triton protested that he hired some guy named Hawk to fix the restaurant and the bar coolers. I gave him the stink eye, so he gave me a blank check and I bought a new cooler for the dining room, and all the stuff needed to repair the kitchen cooler.
When I returned from Cody, I tore the old pads out of the kitchen cooler, replaced them with new ones, installed a float valve, ran a water line into the kitchen and tapped into the supply line under the sink. This took an hour and a half, on my day off, in the blistering heat. When I finished, nothing leaked, the water line was hidden so we wouldn’t get tangled in it, the float valve shut off when it was supposed to, and the kitchen was blessedly cool.
The very next fucking day when I got to work, water poured from the swamp cooler. It wasn’t leaking from the water line attached to the float valve, oh no, it leaked from above the cooler where some douchebag tapped into MY line and didn’t do it correctly. Water ran down the wall and into the kitchen.
That’s when the shouting started.
King Triton said Hawk “fixed” the bar swamp cooler, which is on the roof, and he tapped into my line, but he would be back to stop the leak. Then the roof of the bar started leaking, and we had to shut the water off to both coolers.
I nearly passed out in a rage.
I told Bagheera the bar people could go fuck themselves, and I disconnected their water line. Once again, the kitchen was blessedly cool, but I noticed the water line was shorter and had to be pulled out of hiding to reach the cooler.
Bastard cut my line.
Four days later, the bar water line was again attached to the one I installed, and it wasn’t leaking. However, I could hear the pump on our cooler slurping, which meant it wasn’t getting enough water, yet it leaked from the front corner (it sits on a crooked table. One more thing that needs fixed). I opened it and discovered a crappy old float valve where the new one used to be.
That’s when the shouting started again.
King Triton said Hawk took the new float valve out of our cooler and put it in the bar cooler, thinking that if our cooler leaked it wouldn’t be a big deal since it isn’t on the roof.
Fucking thieving bastard.
I fiddled around with the float valve, but couldn’t get it to shut off like it should. I tipped the cooler so the pump was under water, but that caused the leak to move to the back corner. Then Hawk came in the kitchen and said we needed to shut the water off to both coolers since the roof was leaking again.
Stupid bastard stole my float and wasn’t smart enough to adjust it. Fuck that shit.
I disconnected the bar water line and the kitchen stayed blessedly cool, but the water leaking from the corner of our cooler continued to piss me off.
I started looking for a basket in which to put his head. I checked the storage closet, the cupboards under the counter, and finally the old refrigerator in the back of the bar. He must have a guardian angel because I didn’t find a basket, but I did find a new float valve.
I shit you not, if our cooler leaks again or if the water has to be shut off again, I WILL find a basket and his head will be the first in it.
**The correct term is evaporative cooler. It is a type of air conditioner that works by pumping water over fiber pads with a powerful fan to circulate the cold air. They work best in desert environments.