Wasting Time

I don’t know what it is about the Outlaw, but some people think I have nothing but time on my hands.  Granted, the cafe is small and there may be only one or two tables of customers at a time, but what customers don’t see are the half a dozen tickets from the bar side.  I seldom have time to slap my ass with both hands let alone play games with people.

One night Bagheera was busy making pizza dough and I was cooking for/waiting on a couple of tables when two older women came in.  I gave them menus and asked if they wanted anything to drink.  They didn’t.  I went to the kitchen for about 5 minutes and went back out to take their order.  They hadn’t even looked at the menu.  I went to the kitchen for 5 more minutes.  When I returned to their table they still hadn’t decided, but wanted me to describe half of the menu.  I went back to the kitchen for another 5 minutes and received four or five more tickets from the bar.  Before I started the bar orders I went back to the women, hoping to get their order.  They laughed, said they still hadn’t decided, but if I would bring them Cokes they would be ready when I got back.  I wanted to beat them senseless with the menus.  What is going to change in the minute it takes me to grab Cokes?  I gave them 15 minutes to think about their Cokes before I went back.  They ordered two cheeseburgers.  Fucking hags.  I wasn’t sitting on my ass in the kitchen, I was juggling food in between playing their stupid game of wasting my time. 

I am very passive/aggressive.  You want to waste my time, I’ll waste yours.

Another night we were overwhelmed with pizza orders.  Bagheera was trapped at the pizza station so I went out to wait on a large table.  They ordered 3 pizzas and when I asked if they wanted anything else, one guy said, “Go put that order in, and come back.  I’ll tell you then if I want a salad or not.”  Seriously?  Fuck you.  You know NOW whether or not you want a salad, you are just playing games.  I did what he said.  I prepped his 3 pizzas (5 minutes each) then went back to see if he wanted a salad.  He was all out of joint because I didn’t come back immediately.  I explained that I did exactly as he said, I put the order in and came back, bad on him for assuming I was the waitress with time to waste instead of the cook.

Don’t play games.

Saturday night I was busy as hell on the bar side, but dead on the cafe side.  On those nights I let Bagheera go home since there isn’t much she can do for me.  Suddenly though, two tables walked in the cafe at the same time Foghorn Leghorn brought me a handful of tickets from the bar.  I got the order for the first table and went to see if the second table was ready to order.  “No!” one of the women snapped at me.  They were passing cell phones around looking at pictures and videos.  Her husband suggested I come back.  I smiled and said, “I have six orders from the bar so I’m going to go start them.  I’ll be back when I reach a stopping point…I’m guessing 10 to 15 minutes.  Okay?”  Holy shit.  They were certainly ready to order.  Again, fuck you.  If you want to have home movie night, do it AFTER you order.  You aren’t just wasting MY time, you are wasting EVERYONE’S time.

And I guess that’s why it pisses me off so much.  I’m paid to be there.  I’m paid to wait on/cook for people.  However, when one table holds me up there’s a cascade effect and everyone suffers.  I view it as inconsideration beyond belief.  The more time I spend playing games with one table, the longer it is for another table to get their food.  Order your damned food so everyone can eat.   



9 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Jim
    Nov 13, 2012 @ 21:13:27

    I don’t think you understand. I’m not just ‘A’ customer, I’m ‘THE’ customer. And I’m the MOST important customer you have to deal with no matter what I’m doing, what you’re doing, or what anybody behind me is doing at the exact second I appear before you. But I digress….

    I had the misfortune of being stuck behind one of these special snowflakes at a local Timmy Ho-Ho’s last weekend. I give all the credit in the world to the patient young lady behind the counter who put up with the “I want this special combination of coffee flavours like I always get what do you mean you don’t do that I’ve been coming here for a billion years you’re an idiot who’s your manager Blah Blah Blah”. Some people should just be shot with little balls of their own shit.

    “Some people should just be shot with little balls of their own shit.” This is the greatest sentence ever.

    I think the people in line behind them should be the ones doing the shooting. I find examples of this at Walmart all the time. Lately, I’ve been waging a war with a couple of checkers who seem to want to be passive/aggressive assholes with me. So far it isn’t working out real well for them.


  2. Squiggy's Mom
    Nov 13, 2012 @ 22:09:51

    What Jim said, only I think it should be BIG balls of their own shit.

    Maybe bags of it?


  3. DarcsFalcon
    Nov 14, 2012 @ 23:10:44

    Games – yep, it’s all about playing games. Too many children out there playing grown-up. And I mean sometimes 50-60 year old children. Sometimes I think wolves have more manners than the people you describe! LOL


  4. zoogie2
    Nov 16, 2012 @ 13:34:38

    This reminds me of a kid I used to babysit who would play with his toys, completely focused on them and annoyed if you interrupted him. But HOLY HELL watch out (!), if his tummy rumbled even once it was a scream-fest, because he wanted food NOW. I guess he learned that from his parents….or possibly from watching the people in your restaurant!


  5. Fuck My Table
    Nov 23, 2012 @ 22:55:56

    I snickered at the thought of you leaving salad guy sitting there with his thumb up his butt while you made the pizzas. You’re right; he knew whether or not he wanted a salad right then, but was going to be a dick. Similarly, I just love it when people say, “I’ll just have a water for now,” and then the minute I get back they want something simple like a soda. Seriously? I know you had soda on your mind when you walked in. All restaurants serve either Coke of Pepsi. Either way, you know damn well if you’re getting a soda or not. Now I get to make a special trip just for your fucking soda instead of bringing it with everything else. Fuck.

    “Water for now” makes me want to punch people in the face because it’s exactly as you said, they know what they want to drink they are just being dicks.

    I do this to tables who hem and haw over everything when I’m busy. “Okay, I’ll give you some time to think and I’ll come back.” Then I go do everything else I need to do for my other tables. THEN I get their stupid drinks and bring them to the table. “Well, that took a long time for just DRINKS.” Well, I had to get that table their food, make salads for that other table, take the order for that table back there, and THEN I got your drinks. Getting your drinks isn’t what took so long. Hurry the fuck up and tell me what you fucking want, you twits.

    If people want to waste my time, I’m going to waste theirs.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: