The Bar Hag got fired today. She created so much chaos and hard feelings this week, it was impossible NOT to fire her. And it’s only Thursday.

  • Monday–The Bar Hag, Foghorn Leghorn and Eeyore spent the day getting drunk and shit talking me for so many hours that King Triton got mad and wrote a hateful letter to all the employees.  Out of 8 items on the letter, four were directed at me.  If he had taken the time to actually sit down and talk to me, he would have learned that they were just gang banging me in the hopes I would get fired.  Sadly, he knows this, but he didn’t use his Better Judgement.
  • Tuesday–I told everyone they could eat shit.  King Triton said, “Everybody got a letter.”  I said, “If you’re going to treat me like “Everybody”, I’m going to act like “Everybody”.”  I am NOT doing dinner specials anymore, we will have menu items only.  I am NOT cleaning the men’s room.  I’ll clean the ladies’ room since I use it, but the bartenders can clean the men’s room from now on.  Or not.  I really don’t care.  I’m also NOT mopping the bar.  If the on shift bartender has time to bend me over, she has time to push a mop. 
  • Wednesday–The Bar Hag and Foghorn Leghorn got into a HUGE drunken fight at around 3 in the afternoon at the bar.  (He was scheduled to work at 5 and he was shitfaced at 3.  One of the items on the hateful letter was, “If you come to work tipsy I will fire you for cause and I will fight your unemployment.”  Yeah, right.)  Eeyore threw them out of the bar and told them if they wanted to make a scene, they could have a public scene.  And did they ever.  My dad said he was at the post office (around the corner and down the block) and heard people yelling at each other.  When he drove by, The Bar Hag was yelling at and hitting Foghorn Leghorn.  So Foghorn was befuddled AND forlorn at work.  I didn’t feel one bit sorry for him.  In fact, until I was aware of the fight and subsequent break up, I planned to share the Vienna sausage story with him.  Hey, I play rough.images

What’s the Vienna sausage story, you ask?  Well, the day after The Bar Hag and Foghorn slept together, she told everyone in the bar that he had a little Vienna sausage.  Hawk’s girlfriend Kelly sent her a picture of Hawk’s junk with a caption that read, “See what you’re missing”.  Foghorn saw it and jumped to the conclusion that Hawk was trying to bed or had already bedded The Bar Hag.  The fight was on between Foghorn and Hawk, and it still is, which suited The Bar Hag.  If the two men were fighting, they wouldn’t discuss how and why the picture was really sent.  She went one step further and said Hawk’s girlfriend was a closet lesbian and tried to rape her.  Foghorn decided he hated both Hawk and his girlfriend, and The Bar Hag’s secret was safe.

If they hadn’t split up on Wednesday, I planned to enlighten him.  Someday I still might.


7 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Rogue Wino
    Feb 01, 2013 @ 00:05:14

    Phew, hopefully you’ll get a little peace with her gone. I hate to revel in anyone’s misfortune, but seems like she had this coming!

    Tonight was my first night without her anywhere in the bar and it was heaven. I’m not going to lie, I’m pretty sick of Foghorn Leghorn.


  2. wigsf
    Feb 01, 2013 @ 05:28:58

    People still use the post office?

    Oh hell yeah. If my dad couldn’t get to the post office every day to pick up his junk mail and the bills he bitches about the world as we know it would be over.


  3. Sparty Girl
    Feb 01, 2013 @ 18:11:48

    Wait! Wait! I feel like I’m still missing important pieces of the story: Did Foghorn Leghorn get fired for showing up drunk? (I’m guessing not).

    You guessed right. He has never once acknowledged that any of this started with him. IF he had worked like he was supposed to, none of the events that got The Bar Hag in so much hot water with everyone would have happened. The drama of this entire month can be traced right straight back to his drunk ass. I’ll enlighten him on that some day as well.

    Is King T. still on your case, or has he seen the light?

    No. King T. is something of a drama queen and wanted to end all the bitching. Writing a dramatic letter was the best he could do. That it pissed me off so horribly wasn’t something he counted on, so he’s spent the last few days kissing up. I’m still not cleaning the men’s room or the bar.

    Did B.H. go out with a big fuss, or was it anti-climatic? Inquiring minds want to know!

    She went out with a big fuss and is banned from the bar. I wasn’t present for the firing, but I heard it was a big kerfluffle. The night she and Foghorn Leghorn broke up (rumour has it, they are back on again) she was in the bar dancing like a whore. I think she thought all the single men would be all over her, but they have seen how she’s behaved for the last several months and they want none of it. Tonight was the first night in months I didn’t have to listen to her Joker laugh and it was heaven.


    • Sparty Girl
      Feb 02, 2013 @ 17:12:38

      Wow. Thanks for filling in the rest of the story. After all you’ve been through it’s too bad you had to miss the big night, but I’m happy that you get to work without the Joker laugh! And I’m glad King T. has realized what a valuable asset you are.

      It is so peaceful and calm. Life is good.


  4. DarcKnyt
    Feb 01, 2013 @ 21:13:14

    You know, I’m sorta with Sparty Girl on this one. Deets, woman, deets!

    There you go.


  5. Jim
    Feb 02, 2013 @ 09:36:32

    It almost sounds like the end of an era. Almost. But as we all know by now, the script never changes, just the actors. I can’t wait to hear about the next act.

    I’m hoping the script and the actors stay sane for a few months.


  6. DarcsFalcon
    Feb 05, 2013 @ 15:55:37

    Oh. My. Gosh! I would go insane around that kind of drama all the time! And then I would BE part of the drama because I’d probably kill someone, lol. My hat is off to you for putting up with all that crap! At least it’s good blog fodder, right? 🙂

    I HATE drama. I like my life to plod along, yesterday pretty much the same as today. Customer drama is fine, I just laugh about that. Co-worker drama sucks ass because eventually everyone gets dragged in, and I’m so hostile I want to start smashing heads because they are disrupting my plodding life. I am so glad it is over…until the next crazy gets hired.


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