Bail Money?

I am so furious right now I may not make it to the Grand Opening of my new blog because I’LL PROBABLY BE IN JAIL.

I'm guessing this is what it looks like.

I’m guessing this is what it looks like.

Way back in November, The Bar Hag and Foghorn Leghorn were living in a camper trailer and freezing to death. King Triton bought several cute little electric heaters for the bar and cafe, and after listening to The Bar Hag bitch and moan about all her infections and diseases, Bagheera caved in and LOANED one to her. A few days later Foghorn asked if he could buy the heater. Fine.  It is now mid February and no one has seen any money for the heater, nor has it been returned.

On Wednesday a woman who works at the other bar in town, The Graveyard, gave us a head’s up that The Bar Hag was threatening to turn us into the health inspector for having a dirty kitchen.

  1. OUR KITCHEN IS NOT DIRTY-Bagheera, Speedy and I work endlessly to keep the kitchen clean.  I am batshit crazy about safe food handling and clean work spaces.
  2. Our kitchen IS old-We need a new floor in the front half, but we have new counter tops, new floor mats, and a new floor in the back half of the kitchen.

The news pissed off Speedy, who took it upon herself to ask Foghorn to return the heater. 

Today we got a visit from the health inspector based on an anonymous tip that our kitchen is filthy.  We passed the inspection with no problems, but it still pisses me off to no end.  Foghorn Leghorn allowed his shitbag girlfriend to turn us in, and possibly get us shut down, over a heater that she felt she was entitled to keep.  If King Triton & Bagheera weren’t already planning to fire his ass on Saturday, they sure would be now.

And I know that little bastard was in on it because he walked into the kitchen tonight while Bagheera and I were talking about it, and he wasn’t the least bit surprised.  He hauled ass out of the kitchen when I yelled, “People who live in glass houses probably shouldn’t drive home from work drunk off their ass unless they want a DUI!”

I plan to make it my mission to not rest until both of them get picked up for drunk driving.  Two $750 fines, a night in jail for each of them, two $100 alcohol evaluations, and two $300 alcohol awareness classes is my goal.  The visit from the health inspector was free, but the retribution isn’t going to be.


In other news, I have received many emails and I thank you for all your kind words and support.  I will send out the new address on Monday.