The Dogs

My dogs are a very important part of my life.  Some people refer to their pets as their fur-children, but I call the dogs my companions as they are much better mannered than my children.  For example: 

  • They never ask to borrow the car or for money. 
  • They have never sold one of my TVs to a friend for $25, which they put in their pocket. 
  • They don’t tell me my music is lame. 
  • They don’t swipe my DVDs. 
  • They have never put naked pictures of a friend on my computer.
  • They don’t invite their friends over to sit on my couch and eat my food.

Like most people, I have a blind spot when it comes to my dogs.  When I look at them I see this:

Sweet doggies

 Unfortunately, everyone else sees this:

My sweet doggies

In reality, this is what the dogs look like:

I'm smarter than you.


Breed:  Australian Cattle Dog/Border Collie, aka blue heeler, Queensland heeler, biting little bastard.

Birthday:  February 14, 2006

Weight:  60 pounds

Otis was destined to live in a tiny kennel with his mother, father, aunt and two siblings, so I took him when he was 4 months old.  He is the biggest sissy I’ve ever met, but he’s smarter than most people I know.  I never had to teach him anything because he was born knowing it.  He never leaves my side and finger snaps or gestures are all that’s necessary to get him to do what I want.

I'm dumber than a post.


Breed:  Lab cross, aka dumb black dog.

Birthday:  June 2005

Weight:  70 pounds

Maggie was a shelter dog I picked up in November of 2006 after the neighbor’s pit bull killed my Pomeranian.  It became apparent really fast why she was there.  She was destructive to furniture, she was a runner, she couldn’t obey a single command and she HATED her name.  Her previous owners called her ‘Logan’ and this word would cause her to take off at a full run or duck her head and sulk.

I changed her name to Maggie and started teaching her that while running away was BAD, she wasn’t going to be spanked or punished for returning.  I taught her to sit, lie down, walk on a leash, ride in the van, and to come when called.  She is a very loveable dog who needed someone with patience to teach her how to be a good dog.

You're not my boss.


Breed:  Boxer/Dalmation, aka crazy-ass

Birthday:  December 22, 2004

Weight:  80 pounds

A co-worker gave Sienna to me two years ago when she learned she was pregnant (the co-worker, not the dog).  Sienna is a BIG girl and she was raised with an ambivilent owner.  Bad behaviour wasn’t encouraged, but it wasn’t discouraged either.  This made Sienna think she was the alpha in the house.  It came as sort of a shock to her when she learned that I am the alpha in all situations. 

This is a dog who will defend me to her death.  She is fiercely loyal and no person or other animal better think they will do me harm.  She is very loveable and is happiest when she is laying on me, crushing me with her fatness.

You want to hug me, I know you do.


Breed:  Uh…beagle?

Birthday:  January 2009

Weight:  40 pounds (runt)

Halo is my newest edition.  I got her from the shelter in September after my son left for college.  We are still getting to know one another.  I have learned she’s an escape artist, which is why she was at the shelter.  She is also very frantic in her quest for attention with bad nipping, jumping, and face licking behaviour.  I’m her third owner in less than a year and she’s here to stay, but that shit has GOT to stop.


Stop, Drop and Roll –When your “smart” dog, isn’t.

House of a Thousand Animals –Fleur, the Duck and four stupid dogs.

Sienna, the Theiver –If there was a jail for dogs, Sienna would be in it.

Duck and Dogs –Another tale of Fleur and four stupid dogs.

Cher, the Demon Dog of Arrowhead Drive –Horrible dog.

Xerxes! –My daughter’s dog and her odd preoccupation.

New Year’s Resolution –Losing weight and terrorizing the dogs.

Halo, the Destroyer –Someday she’ll grow out of it.

Burial Day –Getting rid of something ugly.

Play, Dogs. Play! –A day at the lake.


9 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Just Me
    Dec 18, 2009 @ 16:27:57

    The dogs are too cute. That is exactly how other people see my dog also, with three heads (the hell-hound). I see him as the sweetest little puppy ever! Although he is no puppy; he’s almost nine!

    Thanks for stopping by. Pets are the greatest gifts we receive and mine give me endless amusement.


  2. progressboink
    Jun 27, 2010 @ 16:59:23

    Your dogs look so sweet!

    We almost got an Australian Cattle Dog for their temperament and size. They’re intelligent too…I can see Otis is, just from that expression. 😉

    He is my favourite dog. The others are cool and I’d be lost without them, but Otis is amazing. If I travel and only one dog can go, it’s Otis. I can’t say enough good things about ACDs and if you get another chance to get one, do it.


  3. Vicki
    Jun 04, 2011 @ 17:01:44

    Your Halo looks like she may be part dachshund. =) My dachshund Brandon was the same way as far as trying to get attention although he never nipped at us. =) He died on April 29th and he’s missed. I really love that you accept your dogs for who they are–that is rare. =) I like your blog so far having only discovered it today.

    She’s some sort of hound, but way too big for a dachshund. She’s some sort of herder as well. Poor dog is so confused, she doesn’t know whether to tree it or herd it, but she’s pretty sure she should kill it.

    Sorry about your dog. Losing a pet is a hard thing. I’ve had human friendships that haven’t lasted as long as my animal friendships. *hugs*


  4. Kimblee
    Feb 09, 2012 @ 20:27:11

    Your Halo has a face like our Rocky(sheppard/rottie mix) Rocky is one of the sweetest dogs I have ever known, and without a doubt the most destructive.

    Halo was a bit of a problem child, but she’s older now and not so hell bent on making my life miserable. She is very sweet and loveable. I think she’s some sort of hound dog mix. Her bark/growl/howl is hilarious.

    I love the pictures of your dogs. They seem to really reflect the personalities.

    I need to update it because now I have my son’s dog, Arlo. He’s a mess.


  5. Squiggy's mom
    Apr 17, 2012 @ 17:48:36

    You are so funny!


  6. pissyserver (@pissyserver)
    May 01, 2012 @ 08:52:44

    I’ve been reading your blog for some time now. I’m home sick today, and just found all your dog stories. I began at the top and was reading my way down … by the time I got to Xerxes I was laughing so hard I had to keep removing my reading glasses to wipe away the tears. Also, it made my headache worse, but it was totally worth it!

    Xerxes is quite the jerk.

    You have great dogs, and are an amazing story-teller! Thank you for the fun!

    Thank you and thanks for stopping by!


  7. Hira Animfefte
    Jun 09, 2012 @ 20:00:31

    Yes, you definitely need an Arlo spot there! Love all your dog stories. Like all your stories. 🙂

    I love dogs. I totally break out the baby talk for them. I don’t talk baby talk to babies, mind. Only to dogs (and cats). Yeth, I WUBS dem! 😉

    I baby talk my dogs horribly. I didn’t do the baby talk with my kids unless I was mocking them, but baby talk is necessary for pets.


  8. beansprowtcrocodile
    Jun 21, 2012 @ 12:35:14

    You have the most wonderful dogs – and I LOVE their profiles! They are all beautiful and so individual! You are very lucky to have them.

    Thank you! I love my doggies.


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